Lost Connection, Control, and Consistency

Wow. How quick have things been changing in your house?

Do you remember mid-March when this Coronavirus really started? Most schools just adjusted to an extra or a longer Spring Break at first. Social distancing made sense, but it certainly wasn’t marked out in the aisles on the super market. For some of us, the idea of working from home probably even sounded fun at that point! It would be something different and wouldn’t last that long.

But after several conversations with families over the last few weeks I think we’re all beginning to encounter something, our breaking point. Long spring break turned into homeschooling and could turn into an early summer break. Neighboring states are requiring masks anytime you head outside. Working from home ended up being fun for about 20 minutes on day 1 and now we’re struggling with that too.

We’ve all lost something in this time and I would argue that we’ve actually lost three things; connection, control, and consistency.

These are three vitally important feelings that help us feel grounded and certain during normal seasons. But their all being stripped away bit by bit during this moment. And when those feelings begin to erode we begin to move closer and closer to our breaking points.

So how can we overcome the loss of connection, control, and consistency? How can we lead our families to overcome these losses in their lives?

Fortunately, some insight to this struggle was actually written before Covid-19. In 2017 the University of Chicago ran a study that asked what made a fulfilled life. They focused around career paths that led to the most full life that led to happiness and connection. And interestingly, all these careers had a common thread. They were:

  1. Clergy
  2. Physical Therapists
  3. Firefighters
  4. Education Administrators
  5. Painter, Sculptors, Related
  6. Teachers
  7. Authors
  8. Psychologists

Do you see it? Each of these career paths are not defined by WHAT they can produce, but instead they are defined by WHO they can influence and help. These people find their connection, control, and consistency not in the thing they’re doing, but in the people they’re doing it for.

Psychologists agree that the number one thing we can do to help us when we’re feeling uneasy, uncertain, and worried is actually help those around us. Elevate our view beyond our own condition and instead give what we have to help someone else.

The best remedy to a loss of connection, control, and consistency is to become OTHER’S CENTERED.

Now, I’ll admit that’s hard to think about when you’ve lost connection, control, and consistency. So let’s make step one in this process about finding a new stable foundation. I would argue the best foundation we can build on is God. He doesn’t change when we do. He hasn’t changed in the last 6 weeks and He won’t change the longer this moment goes.

I want to challenge you to align your families hearts around this prayer from 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 as you get ready to open up an OTHER’S CENTERED era in Covid-19.

“ All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4


He comforts us in all troubles…so that we can comfort others. That’s the whole thing right there!

Pray this over your families at meal times and in your own personal quiet times. Ask extended relatives to join you in praying it for your family. Ask your small group to pray it over your family as you pray it over them.

Help the people around you rally their lives to be OTHER’S CENTERED instead of focusing on their loss of connection, control, and consistency. It can make a world of difference.